No Porn on Shabbos!

I don’t like porn.

I definitely don’t like porn on Shabbat. It’s not a double mitzvah if you’re doing it with yourself, y’know?

Turns out, no porn on Shabbat is a philosophy that I share with church-goers. See, Benjamin Edelman, a researcher at Harvard Business School, found that people in states with high percentages of Church-goers–states in the Bible Belt, mostly–tend to subscribe to more online porn services than people in more liberal states, like my own Illinois and New York. But people in those Bible Belt states tend to log on less on Sundays. Apparently, “a 1% increase in a postal code’s religious attendance was associated with a 0.1% drop in subscriptions that day.”

Since Sunday is the Christian Sabbath, I guess there are a lot of church-going Christians abiding by my ‘no porn on Shabbat’ policy. The question is, what do they do on three day yontifs?