On this Erev Rosh Hashanah, Woot is offering a fantastic pair of Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Stereo Earphones. 
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That Lucky, Lucky Shofar Happy New Year! There’s probably some phrase for that in Hebrew, which we don’t actually know. Bear with us, we’re in Texas.
Okay, we know we’re a little early, but come sundown, you’re not supposed to be using the computer, right? We think that’s how it works. And that’s why we’re wishing you a Happy 5770 a few hours early, with the help of these Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Earphones.
To be fair, there’s a lot of your traditions we non-chosen types don’t feel that we completely understand. Like, is it true that if you used a whole bunch of two foot extension cords to make a border around a village, the whole place is technically considered one house? If that’s true, you could find these Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Earphones to be extra helpful! Plus we’re thinking that the three sizes of eartips (which allow anyone a snug, comfortable fit) could mean that the Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Earphones will make a great gift for all those people you have wronged in the past year. We’re just assuming everyone you wronged had an iPhone, you understand. We always feel like wronging those types of people too. Irritating smug jerkface iPhone owners, we’d like to give them a good kick right square in the… oh, but we were talking about your most important holiday.
So based on our ten minutes of research, we find it unfortunate that the Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Earphones won’t be pomegranate colored, but you will get a lovely travel pouch which you can use after the holiday when you’re allowed to travel again. Maybe when you hit the ham and shrimp with cheeseburgers buffet down the street. What? Why are you all scowling now? What did we say? Jeez, some people. Oh, right, right, you guys don’t do “Jeezâ€. Our bad.
Anyway, when you’re out for the afternoon, throwing crumbs into your local river on our behalf, these Maximo iM-490 iMetal Isolation Earphones will make sure you can still be enjoying your Burt Bacharach, John Zorn and the Beastie Boys the entire time. And that will hopefully start off those next five thousand and seven hundred years just right.
So Happy New Year, one and all! We hope it’s fabulous! Leshana Tovah Tekatev Vitechatem! Also we just cut and pasted that bit so we have no idea what it really means. Maybe something about “Talk Like A Pirate Dayâ€. Were there any Jewish pirates? Besides Jake Pitler?
(HT: My awesome sister!)
