Reprinted with permission from Reform Judaism magazine.
Henny Youngman
“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up… they have no holidays.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
Groucho Marx
“Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?”
Help us keep Jewish knowledge accessible to millions of people around the world.
Your donation to My Jewish Learning fuels endless journeys of Jewish discovery. With your help, My Jewish Learning can continue to provide nonstop opportunities for learning, connection and growth.
George Burns
“This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s read only two.”
Mel Brooks
“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is if you fall into an open sewer and die.”
Oscar Levant
“A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.”
Woody Allen
“It’s not that I’m afraid to die; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
Marty Feldman
“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”
